After leaving a difficult job, how should I choose and brief referees?

What a referee is for

A referee is someone who can give relevant evidence about your past work. The Australian Government’s Job Jumpstart résumé guidance suggests asking people before using them as referees and keeping their contact details separate from your résumé. This is practical advice, not a promise that the referee will give you a positive reference. Choose someone who actually knows your relevant work or responsibilities. A person with a senior title but no direct knowledge of your work may be less useful than someone who observed what you did day to day.

Ask permission and confirm the scope

Before you list someone as a referee, ask whether they are comfortable acting in that role, which parts of your work they can discuss, and how they prefer to be contacted. Confirm their current contact details and get permission before sharing them with an employer. If an organisation only verifies dates and job titles, that is a policy about employment checks, not the same as a personal performance reference. Do not list someone just because an old application used their name.

Brief the referee without scripting a false account

When you brief a referee, give them the vacancy details and a factual reminder of the relevant work you did together. Do not ask them to conceal dates or invent duties. If your departure was disputed, keep that issue separate and, when needed, accurately explain your own account of what happened. Do not share client files, private messages, or another employee’s information to persuade a referee to support your application.

If the reference creates a problem

If you believe a referee gave incorrect information, record the specific details you think are wrong and seek clarification through the recruitment process where possible. Keep evidence of the relevant dates or duties. A rejection alone does not prove what a referee said. This guide cannot force a positive reference, establish defamation, or guarantee that another referee will be accepted. It helps you prepare an honest and usable reference arrangement.

Hypothetical illustration: choosing a referee after a difficult exit

Suppose you left a job after a disagreement with your manager, and you are now applying for a new role. You might want to use a former colleague who worked closely with you on projects, rather than the manager. Before listing that colleague, you ask: “Are you comfortable being a referee for me? Which of my work can you discuss?” You also confirm their current email and phone number. When briefing them, you give the new job’s key requirements and remind them of a specific project you led together. You do not ask them to hide the fact that you left, nor to say you resigned voluntarily if you did not. If the colleague says they can only confirm dates and title, you decide whether that is enough for the employer or whether you need another referee. The question is not whether the colleague will give a glowing reference, but whether they can accurately describe your relevant work.

Questions to ask and next steps

When preparing referees, ask yourself: “Does this person know my relevant work well enough to give specific examples?” and “Have I confirmed their willingness and contact details?” If a reference issue is unresolved, such as an employer rejecting you based on a reference you believe is wrong, you can ask the employer for clarification about what was said, and you can keep your own records of dates and duties. If you need legal advice about defamation or discrimination, bring the specific reference details and any correspondence to a lawyer. This guide does not replace legal advice.

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